Josef Mengele

199942.8 Originator of the phrase, "Nothing says loving like fresh from the oven", Herr Doktor Josef Mengele presided over new arrivals at Auschwitz. With a wave of his white glove and cane, Mengele personally decided the fates of countless people, either sending them immediately to the gas chambers and crematorium, or allowing inmates the privilege of starving. For his active role in the festivities he earned the nickname "The Angel of Death."

Those lucky enough to be aberrant -- twins, dwarfs, and other genetic fuckups -- were spared from the camp entirely, and sent to Mengele's special infirmary, also known as the Zoo. Here Mengele conducted a myriad of sadistic experiments, including swapping the blood of one twin for another, attempting to affect eye color by injecting painful dyes, and intentionally infecting people with diseases.

Sadly, unlike other Nazi medical research, these experiments have long fallen out of vogue and are generally looked down upon, due almost entirely to Mengele's absolute and unforgiveable failure to produce a recreational, abusable drug.

Nickname "Beppo". Died in exile in Brazil.


16 Mar 1911 Josef Mengele born, to Karl and Walburga Mengele, Gunzburg, Bavaria.
1926 Diagnosed with osteomyelitis.
1935 Ph.D., University of Munich.
May 1937 Joins NSDAP (#5574974.)
Jul 1939 Marries Irene Schoenbein.
30 May 1943 Arrives, Auschwitz concentration camp.
11 Mar 1944 Son, Rolf, born.
17 Jan 1945 Mengele flees Auschwitz with his research notes from experimentation on more than 3,000 twins.
18 Jul 1949 Mengele departs on an ocean voyage to Argentina.
7 Feb 1979 Dies of a stroke while swimming, Bertioga Brazil.


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