Richard Milhouse Nixon

Perhaps best known for faking the Moon landing, 37th US President Richard Milhouse Nixon died on April 22, 1994. He left behind him an astonishing range of sins: Alcoholism, pill popping, wife beating, perpetuating the Vietnam War, and calling Helen Gahagan Douglas a filthy lesbian.

nixon_gum_cigars Tricky Dicky's ultimate crime was confirming the suspicions of an entire generation of fuckoffs that they, in fact, were the chosen people of their place and time. The results may be seen in the merciless attacks on the human spirit masquerading as '60s nostalgia, ridiculous cam girls indulging in astrology, and the otherwise unexplained persistence of adulation for Creedence Clearwater Revival.

Made two visits to China to meet Mao. Appointed Elvis a secret special agent of some sort.

According to convicted Watergate criminal John W. Dean, Nixon wanted to firebomb the Brookings Institute think tank, because they had possession of certain unspecified, but apparently important documents. Yes, firebomb.

Pardoned Jimmy Hoffa on December 23, 1971.

As chairman of the RNC, it was George HW Bush's job to tell Nixon to resign.

See also his Vice President Spiro T. Agnew, Secretary of State Henry Kissinger, Watergate plumber G. Gordon Liddy, and Presidential successor Gerald Ford.

June 1971

NIXON: They have a lot of material. I want -- the way I want that handled, Bob, is: get it over. I want Brooking. Just break in. Break in and take it out. You understand.
HALDEMAN: Yeah. But you have to get somebody to do it.
NIXON: Well, you -- that’s what I’m just telling you. Now don’t discuss it here. You’re to break into the place, rifle the files, and bring them out.
HALDEMAN: I don’t have any problem with breaking in.
NIXON: Just go in and take them. Go in around 8 or 9 o’clock. That’s right. You go in and inspect and clean it out.

July 5, 1971: Nixon, Haldeman, and Ziegler, 4:03 P.M., Oval Office Conversation #537-4; cassette #876

NIXON: Jewish families are close, but there's this strange malignancy that seems to creep among them -- radicalism. I can imagine how the fact that Ellsberg is in this must really tear a fella like Henry to pieces -- or Garment. Just like the Rosenbergs and all that. It just has to kill them. I feel horrible about it.
ZIEGLER: Could make up an English name.
HALDEMAN: ... Rosenstein could change his name. ...
[general laughter]
ZIEGLER: It is right. It's always an "Ellsberg."
NIXON: Every one's a Jew. Ellsberg's a Jew. Halperin's a Jew.
HALDEMAN: Gelb's a Jew.
NIXON: But there are [unclear] -- Hiss was not a Jew. Very interesting thing. So few of those who engage in espionage -- are Negroes. ... In fact, very few of them become Communists. If they do, they like, they get into Angela Davis -- they're more the capitalist type. And they throw bombs and this and that. But the Negroes. -- have you ever noticed? ... Any Negro spies?
HALDEMAN: Not intellectual enough, not smart enough... not smart enough to be spies.
NIXON: The Jews -- the Jews are, are born spies. You notice how many of them are just in up to their necks?
HALDEMAN: A basic deviousness.

Talking to White House Chief of Staff H.R. Haldeman at Camp David in August 1972:

NIXON: Reagan is not one that wears well.
NIXON: On a personal basis, Rockefeller is a pretty nice guy. Reagan, on a personal basis, is terrible. He just isn't pleasant to be around.
HALDEMAN: No, he isn't.
NIXON: Maybe he's different with others.
NIXON: No, he's just an uncomfortable man to be around. Strange.

Richard M. Nixon's Presidential Pardons

Jimmy Hoffa Commutation.


9 Jan 1913 Richard Milhouse Nixon born, Yorba Linda, CA.
23 Sep 1952 In his "Checkers Speech", watched on television by 52 million Americans, Nixon admits receiving the illegal gift of a cocker spaniel, and states that "we're gonna keep him."
8 Nov 1960 Kennedy defeats Nixon and becomes the 35th President. The popular vote was split, 49.55 to Kennedy's 49.75 percent. While Nixon strongly believed he lost to vote fraud, he knows enough not to make a public challenge to that effect.
7 Nov 1962 After failing to be elected Governor of California, Nixon gives an infamous final press conference, in which he states "You won't have Nixon to kick around any more".
Nov 1968 Nixon defeats Democrat Hubert Humphrey and becomes the 37th President.
22 Jan 1969 Nixon inaugurated as President.
Jul 1969 President Richard Nixon flies to the Philippines and meets with Ferdinand Marcos.
Jul 1969 President Richard Nixon flies to Indonesia and meets with Suharto.
Aug 1969 President Richard Nixon flies to Romania and meets with Nikolai Ceaucescu.
Sep 1970 President Richard Nixon flies to Yugoslavia and meets with Tito.
Oct 1970 President Richard Nixon flies to Spain and meets with Generalissimo Francisco Franco.
9 Dec 1970 President Richard M. Nixon orders more illegal bombing in Cambodia. "I want them to hit everything. I want them to use the big planes, the small planes, everything they can that will help out there[...] Right now there is a chance to win this goddamn war, and that's probably what we are going to have to do because we are not going to do anything at the conference table."
21 Dec 1970 President Richard M. Nixon receives Elvis Presley in the Oval Office of the White House.
13 May 1971 President Richard Nixon describes the ideal candidate for IRS commissioner: "I want to be sure he is a ruthless son of a bitch, that he will do what he's told, that every income tax return I want to see I see, that he will go after our enemies and not go after our friends."
13 May 1971 President Richard Nixon: "I don't want to see this country to go that way. You know what happened to the Greeks. Homosexuality destroyed them. Sure, Aristotle was a homo, we all know that, so was Socrates. [...] Do you know what happened to the Romans? The last six Roman emperors were fags. [...] You know what happened to the popes? It's all right that popes were laying the nuns. That's been going on for years -- centuries. But when the popes, when the Catholic Church went to hell in -- I don't know, three or four centuries ago -- it was homosexual, and it had to be cleaned out. Now, that's what happened to Britain; it happened earlier to France."
13 May 1971 President Richard Nixon: "We're going to [put] more of these little Negro bastards on the welfare rolls at $2,400 a family -- let people like Pat Moynihan ... believe in all that crap. But I don’t believe in it. Work, work -- throw 'em off the rolls. That's the key. ... I have the greatest affection for them [blacks], but I know they're not going to make it for 500 years. They aren't. You know it, too. The Mexicans are a different cup of tea. They have a heritage. At the present time they steal, they're dishonest, but they do have some concept of family life. They don't live like a bunch of dogs, which the Negroes do live like."
13 May 1971 President Richard Nixon: "You see: homosexuality, dope, immorality in general -- these are the enemies of strong societies. That's why the Communists and the left-wingers are pushing the stuff; they're trying to destroy us."
13 May 1971 President Richard Nixon: "The Bohemian Grove -- which I attend, from time to time -- it is the most faggy goddamned thing you could ever imagine, with that San Francisco crowd. I can't shake hands with anybody from San Francisco."
26 May 1971 President Richard Nixon observes: "You know, it's a funny thing, every one of the bastards that are out for legalizing marijuana is Jewish. What the Christ is the matter with the Jews, Bob? What is the matter with them? I suppose it is because most of them are psychiatrists."
13 Sep 1971 President Richard Nixon tells Bob Haldeman: "Now here's the point, Bob. Please get the names of the Jews. You know, the big Jewish contributors to the Democrats. Could you please investigate some of the cocksuckers? That's all."
14 Sep 1971 President Richard Nixon resumes the previous day's conversation with Bob Haldeman:
NIXON: What about the rich Jews? The IRS is full of Jews, Bob.
HALDEMAN: What we ought to do is get a zealot who dislikes those people.
NIXON: Go after them like a son of a bitch.
Feb 1972 President Richard Nixon flies to China and meets with Chairman Mao.
May 1972 President Richard Nixon flies to Iran and meets with the Shah.
2 May 1972 On hearing of FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover's death, President Richard Nixon exclaims: "Jesus Christ! That old cocksucker!"
28 Mar 1973 President Richard Nixon announces the inception of the federal Drug Enforcement Agency, stating: "This Administration has declared all-out, global war on the drug menace."
11 Oct 1973 Henry Kissinger tells Brent Scowcroft that President Nixon is too drunk to speak with British Prime Minister Edward Heath. Scowcroft tells Heath's representatives to call back in the morning.
3 Apr 1974 A joint Congressional committee orders President Richard Nixon to pay $476,531 in back taxes, covering the period of 1969-1972.
9 Aug 1974 President Richard Nixon resigns from office. His successor, Gerald Ford, assures the American people that "our long national nightmare is over."
8 Jul 1976 Former President Richard M. Nixon is disbarred by the New York Bar Association. Nixon attempted to resign voluntarily, as he had from the California and U.S. Supreme Court bars, but New York refused to accept his resignation unless he acknowledged that he had obstructed justice during the Watergate coverup.
22 Apr 1994 Former President Richard Nixon dies after a stroke, bringing finality to our long national nightmare.
26 Dec 2000 Journalist Richard Berholz dies of a stroke. He is the you in "You won't have Nixon to kick around anymore", the soundbite from Nixon's 1962 "final press conference".

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