The Cola Wars

Famous Coke Drinkers Famous Pepsi Drinkers pepsi_machine_jewish

Evidently Martin Luther King, Jr. was a Sprite drinker.


1929 Coca-Cola ends its use of Weapons of Mass Addiction, namely the drug cocaine. It never sheds the chemical agents 7X and Merchandise #5, however.
1972 Pepsi infiltrates the Soviet Union.
1975 The Pepsi Challenge commences in Dallas, TX.
1977 Pepsi annexes Pizza Hut.
1978 Pepsi annexes Taco Bell.
1984 Michael Jackson wounded by a pyrotechnic device during a Pepsi propaganda filming.
23 Apr 1985 Coca-Cola withdraws the original formulation and replaces it with New Coke.
11 Jul 1985 In a strategic retreat, Coca-Cola announces plans to bring back Coke Classic.
1986 Pepsi annexes Kentucky Fried Chicken.
12 Aug 1988 Establishing a new low in the field of propaganda, Mac and Me is released in theaters. This horrible, low-budget ripoff of E.T.: The Extraterrestrial was financed by McDonald's and the Coca-Cola Company.
1996 Arms deal gone awry: As a gag, Pepsi offers a $23 million Harrier jump jet for 7,000,000 Pepsi points. When a pool of investors coughs up 15 points and a check for $700,008.50, an apprehensive Pepsi stonewalls. The terms of the promotion permitted customers to purchase points at a rate of ten cents each. The matter soon winds up in court.
15 Sep 1997 Coca-Cola's website taken down after cyberattack.
19 Jun 2000 Coca-Cola infiltrates North Korea.
Feb 2002 Qibla Cola launched in England.
May 2002 In a surprise pre-emptive strike against the upcoming Vanilla Coke, Pepsi Blue is unleashed.
May 2002 Operation Barbarrosa: disastrous Vanilla Coke campaign begins.
27 Aug 2002 On his television show The O'Reilly Factor, Bill O'Reilly declares a boycott against Pepsi-Cola: "I'm calling for all responsible Americans to fight back and punish Pepsi for using a man who degrades women, who encourages substance abuse, and does all the things that hurt particularly the poor in our society. I'm calling for all Americans to say, 'Hey, Pepsi, I'm not drinking your stuff. You want to hang around with Ludacris, you do that, I'm not hanging around with you.'"
27 Aug 2002 On his television show The O'Reilly Factor, Bill O'Reilly declares victory in his boycott against Pepsi-Cola: "Because of pressure by Factor viewers, Pepsi-Cola late today capitulated. Ludacris has been fired."
Nov 2002 Mecca-Cola launched in France. According to the website, the drink exemplifies a "rejection of American politics, imperialism and hegemony and a protest against the Zionist crime financed and supported by America." In an interview, CEO Tawfiq Mathlouthi explains: "We are against American policy. We made it clear from the beginning. And we don't care what they will think, I mean the American administration, we are against them. We don't agree with the foreign policy of the United States. We don't agree with the American imperialism. We say it very, very clearly and in an active way, and anyone who buys a Mecca-Cola bottle is making an act of protest against the American politics and also against the crimes of Zionism."
4 Feb 2003 On his television show The O'Reilly Factor, Bill O'Reilly disclaims ever having launched a boycott against Pepsi-Cola: "I simply said I wasn't going to drink Pepsi while that guy was on their payroll. No boycott was ever mentioned by me."
28 Oct 2003 Lawrence Andrew Rodriguez is arrested in Port Richey, Florida for allegedly knocking a kid unconscious and stealing his Pepsi.
19 Nov 2003 The body of Betti Sy, commercial finance director of The Coca-Cola Export Corp., is discovered wrapped in black plastic trash bags in Parañaque City, the Philippines.
19 Nov 2003 Seeking to establish a presence in postwar Iraq, unnamed Coca-Cola executives hold meetings in Baghdad with three local soft drink bottlers.

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